Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Fluffy Thoughts

Having gone out several times with the r.r.g.s. fish I find myself at the beginning of a new relationship for the first time in over a decade. And this has caused some fluffy little thoughts to run through my head. (If you don't know what a fluffy thought is, it's like a little ball of fluff that hops around in your brain begging to be noticed and voiced at random times to unsuspecting friends and strangers. Lucky you.)

Probably the oddest thought is how will we classify our relationship? I'm sorry, but I feel like I am too old to be someone's girlfriend. There should really be another term for people of a certain age who are not married, but are in a relationship. And lady friend feels like it should be reserved for those over the age of 60. Old lady is for bikers and mothers. Woman friend sounds like a term used by women for the their same sex friends. So where does that leave me? Hey, you? While I've answered to that in the past, it's hardly a defining term. So, I guess, until something better presents itself, I am stuck with girlfriend and boyfriend.

Which leads me to my second fluffy thought. How on earth did I not notice for so many years that my shark never quite became a man? I'm not sure I would have any problem classifying him as a boyfriend. While he's not quite a boy, he never quite grew out of his teenage persona. And I didn't realize this until spending some time with the r.r.g.s. fish. I'm not sure if it is the money he sends to his ex to support his kids, who he is only able to see once or twice a year, or the way he treats my kids, or even the way he treats me. Maybe some combination of all the above. He is, without a doubt, a man. And even though he makes me feel like a teenager at times, he also makes me feel like a woman, not the girl I always was with my shark.

Which leads me to my final fluffy thought. I have only talked with a few fish since my split from the shark and only gone out with two. But how many does it take? I could date all the fish in the deep blue sea and still not find anything worth swimming home about. But the r.r.g.s. fish makes me smile and laugh when I don't think I can. He makes me feel hopeful, when the future is still very uncertain. He makes me forget, even for a just a little while, all the stress and pain. And he makes me remember that life is too short to bury your heart.

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