Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I've said before that I believe in chemistry. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it isn't. But do we have some influence over this? Can the things we say or do, whether or not we realize it, sabotage or encourage this spark? Or is it all up to fate?

I got a call from the clown fish today. We were talking about online dating and eventually he steered the conversation to the date we had. I swear it wasn't me, I was perfectly content to let sleeping dogs lie. He said that by my body language, he decided I wasn't interested (in my defense I was having a very stressful few days and had just gotten off a plane). I told him that was the same impression I got from him. We agreed that there were no hard feelings and neither of us had any problems just being friends. He even offered to give me dating advice should I need it.

Fast forward to the really, really good smelling fish (or r.r.g.s.f. for short). When we talked about our first date, he said I was tense at first, but he could see when I started to relax. And I have to say our second date went wonderfully. He still smelled as good as I remembered.

So this leads me to wonder, what about me makes me this open book that men can sense my inner workings? And just how accurate is it? Should I be giving out a quiz at the end of each date asking for impressions?

Question 1-Did I appear a)relaxed, b)tense, c)uninterested, d)interested, e)overly interested to the extent you are considering changing your phone number and email address
Question 2-What body language did I give off on our date? Please be specific so I can correct this behavior in the future.
Question 3-Would you go out with me again? Why or Why not? Please use complete sentences and write legibly.

When the boys and girls are separated in the 5th grade for a "health lecture", do the boys get some crash course on how to read women? Or does this not come until college? Is it just something guys teach other guys when they're holed up in their man caves watching sports and belching to fill the time between innings?

And does their impression of body language have any impact at all on chemistry? Had I not been tired and cranky and nervous when the clown fish and I had gone out, would he have read my body language differently, thus having a different kind of chemistry? Or would the result have been the same? Two people, nothing wrong with either one, who just were not meant to be?

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